Day 5 Entry

I went in today's meditation smiling, knowing I was ready to face any sensation I would enconter.

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This time, when the pain came, I smiled even harder & started breathing deeper.

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See, the sensation of pain didn't just disappear in one single day because the body was in a habit of programmed suffering. And so, the cure is to sit in the fire until it dissolves naturally.

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Today, the body played the last tricks in its deck. It made my legs twitch and buckle, thinking I would give up my throne to listen to its demands to escape the very pain it created. Clever trickster is the mind when you let it be your master for so long. It saw it was losing its only grip of borrowed power and it threw all it had on me, hoping I would listen. NOT TODAY.

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My body was just used to feeling like shit cause i programmed it that way. And now we are reversing it, dissolving the last remains of an old, tired skin for something way more alive and full of vibrant pulsing sensations.

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I thought what does enduring a few minutes of false suffering for a few days feel in comparison to a whole life being lived as i meant to? It doesn't compare so we keep plucking away. Repeatedly.