Day 25 Entry

Pattern Discovery – The Camp Memory

‍

Today’s meditation surfaced a vivid memory from summer camp. All the kids were told to “go play in the forest” while the counselors cooked. Most of them wandered aimlessly, following the instruction but not really having fun.

‍

I broke from the group and went to see the food being prepared. The counselors didn’t look welcoming, and I absorbed that as “I’m doing something wrong.”

‍

Sitting with it now, I can see the pattern: as a child I had a strong inner compass but no shield. I picked up the disapproval of adults and misread it as proof that my intuition was wrong. In truth, I was simply moving toward something real while others were in default mode.

‍

Meditation revealed how often I’ve repeated this loop — sensing something deeper, acting on it, then internalizing others’ reactions as self-doubt. Recognizing this lets me keep the gift of sensitivity without the trap of self-blame.